It was January 9, a long time ago. Santa, just back from his two-week post-Christmas Sabbatical, was addressing his Elf staff.
“I have great news! Next year, we’re going Global!”
The elves gasped. Up until then, the Santa Claus operating environment had been localized. They hadn’t even tested a regional model.
“Whoa,” said one elf.
“That’s going to take a lot more resources and a lot more planning,” said another.
“This is going to be one big friggin’ project!” summarized yet another.
Santa turned sternly. “You know I don’t like that type of language.”
“Friggin?” asked the elf, apologetically.
“No, that other word — ‘project’. You know I hate projects. They tend to be late, over-budget, chaotic and notably unfun. Nope, it seems the last thing I’d want this to be is a project.”
One of the elves piped up, “We could get some outside help.”
Santa looked doubtful. “Well, I have heard of agile. But look at me. I’m anything but agile. Can’t imagine doing Santa Sprints. And I reckon they’d have me doing Pilates.”
“Blech!” said one elf. “Yucky,” said another. “Disgusting,” said a third.
“I see you agree, exercise isn’t for me,” said Santa.
“We thought you were talking about a coffee drink,” said the elves.
One elf at the back of the table had been deep in thought. Quietly he began muttering out loud, “It just might work. It just might.”
Santa noticed. “So, Wendell, have you come up with something?”
“Maybe, Santa. Let’s step back and look at our situation. Massive expansion. Something we’ve never done before. A due date that cannot be compromised.”
“Yeah!” said Santa. “I never liked that idea of telling kids Christmas would have to be March 25.”
Wendell continued. “We must get organized. We must know our true priorities. We must be as efficient as possible. And, Santa, do you know where we do this best?”
Santa looked up and back down. “Always with the questions. Just tell me, Wendell.”
“That GPS we use to find all the children. The GPS gets us organized. The GPS prioritizes what route we should follow. There are many routes we can take, but the GPS tells us which is most efficient.”
“Yeah!” Santa exclaimed.
“And wait, there’s more.” Wendell shifted into sales gear. “When we’re surprised by unexpected events, the GPS immediately adjusts so that we can see our new priorities, our new most efficient route.”
“Like when we hit that snowstorm over Latvia last year,” interrupted one elf.
All the other elves were nodding in agreement. Santa was all in. “Man, that GPS was the BEST thing we’ve invested in up to this point. Much better than cloning me. If we can find a similar system to help us organize our work, guide us in the right priorities, keep us on the right track — it would be a gamechanger. And I know we all like games!”
“Wendell, where can we find such a system? We need to act fast. We’ll need the system, the software and someone who knows how it all works together. Stat!”
I’ll get right on it sir. I’ll search for it on Netscape.”
“Netscape?”
“Yessir, something we’re beta testing.”
“Ok, then,” exclaimed Wendell. “Here it is. GPS—Gargas Project Solutions!”
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